The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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