He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
