If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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