Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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