kristin has been a bad kristin
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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