so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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