do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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