I just threw up on my dentist
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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