im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
