it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
handjob tips. give me some.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
