Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
