It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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