we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
