Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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