So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
