That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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