Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
