nut hugger
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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