Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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