just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
