I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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