I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
