Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
