he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize