Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My vagina just clenched in fear
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
