How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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