They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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