i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
