No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
