we're chasing vodka with high fives
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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