I am spending my child support on dildos
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
