Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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