people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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