shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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