I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
that is very illegal...i love you.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
