i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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