mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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