how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Be still, my beating vagina.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
