dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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