I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
