Pappa wants mamma naked
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
