my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
