when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
