just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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