Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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