i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
