benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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