i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
