so explain again why im purple
no
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
