No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
