The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i dont even know how to be here
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
