So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
