Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
