Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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