I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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