her vagine was all disorganized.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Bring me that man meat
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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