Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
