so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
