Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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