just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
