I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
