alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Alive.
So much puke
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
