i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
