I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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