I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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