so that wasnt chicken after all
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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