i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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