I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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