Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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